my beef with e-s-p-n

ok so derik loves watching espn...what man doesn't? ok so i know men out there don't love it, but that's not the point. the point is that i've been forced to watch espn for my whole life and i have beef with it. it's not the sports or the athletes...it's the espn correspondents. so you know when they cut to some random location with an espn reporter that no one recognizes? well that is who i have beef with....not the men, just the women. let me tell you why. when they are finished reporting they always say, "reporting from somewhere no one cares about, roger rabbit, espn". ok, no problem. but the women say it like this, "reporting from that place no one else would go, sally stupid-head, ee-ess-pee-aawwwnn". what the crap, did we just change countries where they talk super weird? no they're just stupid and think they're all fancy saying "ee-ess-pee-aaawwwnn". give me a break. you don't sound or look cool saying that. trust me! the men, however, make me really happy and hate the women even more because they say it normal, "reporting from your mom's, lance lancerton, ee-ess-pee-en". i love it...so thank you male espn reporters for not trying too hard to fit in. thank you for talking normal. and thank you for not being douche-bags.